Survivor: Out of A Hat Edition
by It's Ink
Summary: Six contests who names where choosen out of a hat. Wolverine meets Carlisle. Let the fun begin. Rated T for swearing, and side effects of insanity. ON HIATUS
1. Let The Fun Begin!

Survivor: Out of A Hat Edition

Host: Hello everyone!!! My name is Ink aka Katie or Katink, but for now we'll just stick with Ink. Now you maybe wondering just why the hell we would call this the 'Out of A Hat Edition'. Welllll the reason behind that is because we drew all of our contestants, that will be on the show, names randomly out of a hat. –nodding head-

Audience: -currently contains only one member who is a friend of the host (The Famous Fire Lady M)- BOO. ARE YOU OUT OF IDEAS OR SOMETHING INK?!!!

Ink: No I'm just bored to tears….

Audience: -crickets-

Ink: OKAY THEN. –hyped up on caffeine- Now it's time to draw- I mean introduce our various contestants. –starts talking like a game show host- Starting off our extremely long line up is….-looks at slip of paper in hand- He's hot, he's blonde, he's a vampire from one of the many hit series out to day and he's Cheese's fiancé! It's Carlisle Cullen!!!

Carlisle: -walks into camera view looking confused and still in his white lab coat that he wears to work- Ummm Hello there??? –goes to sit down on a log in front of the unusually large bonfire that's beside Ink-

Audience: -now containing several random Carlisle fangirls along with The Famous Fire Lady M and Miss Sunflower- -screams-

Ink: -resisting urge to scream herself- -remembers that she's the host- x3 -face palm-

Audience: -still screaming-

Ink: Our next contestant is from another extremely popular book series, actually dies in the fifth book in the series against numerous fans protest, and is considered to have been lady's man in the time of his youth. THANK GOODNESS WE TIME WARPED HIM FROM HIS 7TH YEAR AT HOGWARTS. Introducing the man commonly known by his fans as Padfoot, it's Sirius Black!!!

Sirius: -dressed in Hogwart school robes- -wide eyed- Well okay then…. Hello ladies!!! –goes to sit next to Carlisle on one of the logs-

Audience: - now containing 20 members- -screaming even louder than before-

Ink: To make this even more interesting we brought in a man who originated from a comic book series from Marvel and just recently in the past few months had his own movie out in theaters. You could say that he's an animal, and is defiantly someone you don't want pissed at you. It's Wolverine!

Wolverine: -looks confused and pissed- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! YOU TELL ME THAT MAGNETO HAS ROGUE AND NOW I'M ON SOME BLOODY ISLAND!!! WHAT THE HELL?! –is given a cookie- -goes to sit down next to Sirius-

Ink: Crap. Well I guess this tells us that all Voldemart really wanted was a cookie…Now this contestant is from the same series as one of our other contestants. He's a weeee bit ooc for entertainment purposes mainly, has a bit of another occ character from his series mixed into him for yet again entertainment purposes, and happens to be fairly close to one of our contestants. He's as tough as a rock, and a sex addict. Why it's Emmett Cullen!!!!

Emmett: -walks out grinning- HELLO! –waves at the various fans as he goes to sit next to Wolverine- I'm getting paid in cookies right???

Ink: Yes why I do believe you are. Just like I am!!!

Carlisle: Why do you want to be paid in cookies Emmett?? We can't eat cookies.

Emmett: I eat cookies anyway!

Carlisle: Why am I not surprised by this?

Sirius: Why can't you two eat cookies?

Carlisle: Well you see –cut off by Ink-

Ink: SHUT UP!!!! –coughs- Now our fifth character is from a classic video game by Nintendo and was one of their first characters. He's Italian, he's a plumber, and he loves the color red. It's Mario!!!!

Mario: -walks out- It's A Me Mario!!! –sits down next to Emmett-

Audience: -already making bets on who is going to last till the end- -The Famous Fire Lady M is holding all bets-

Ink: And now our final contestant. Now we are very lucky that this contestant could make it here considering the fact that I last left him locked in a closet on the other side of the earth. It's everyone's favorite pirate, Jack Sparrow!!!

Jack: -casually walks out carrying a bottle of rum in one hand and his compass in the other- I don't remember sailing this way. –goes to sit down-

Audience: -fangirls are screaming- -several audience members are booing at him-

Ink: -tosses a shoe at those audience members that are booing-

Audience: -screaming continues but the booing has now stopped-

Ink: I swear they would be horse by now. –shakes head- Okay now that we have our six un- I mean extremely lucky contestants we can separate them into teams of two and introduce the challenge.

Audience: -quiets-

Ink: Now for the time being blue team we have…Emmett Cullen and Carlisle Cullen. For the red team we have….Mario and Wolverine, and that makes the Yellow team Jack Sparrow and Sirius Black.

Carlisle: Lord please don't do this to me. –has actually seen some episodes of Survivor-

Audience: -scrambling around placing bets on the teams-

Ink: Now for our first outrageous challenge of the season we have a challenge so unique we had to get special permission to use a Wal-Mart for you entertainment purposes.

Cheese: -screaming in joy-

Ink: That's right our first challenge is for our three teams to pull as many pranks at they possibly can without being kicked out of Wal-Mart by one of the thirty various staff members. The last team that remains in Wal-Mart gets a prize. Now sadly(mainly because I want to see just how chaotic this can get….) on this edition of Survivor we require for the contestants to go through two challenges(That means twice the chaotic fun) before we face a bonfire trial. You maybe wondering how contestants get immunity, well we let the audience vote on that. One person from each of the winning teams will get immunity based on how the audience believes they do.

Audience: -silent-

Ink: And we are out of time!!!! Or more like I just want you all to just come back and read the second chapter which will include the Wal-mart Challenge. BUT ANYWAY… Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. xD


	2. The First Challenge Insues

AN: I must say special thanks to MLIA for telling me about the internet sensation '333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Wal-Mart' I wouldn't have been able to come up with the ideas required to do this on my own. And secondly to every one who was able to wait for this chapter, which I will admit that I've had almost completely ready since September. ((Please don't hurt me….))

* * *

**Ink:** And welcome back all. We last left off with introducing the first challenge. Lets begin I guess. –_claps hands three times and everyone is moved from the Island to outside a super Wal-Mart in Minnesota-_ Lets send in our teams and let the Wal-Mart Challenge begin!!!

_-Carlisle, Emmett, Mario, Wolverine, Jack, and Sirius enter Wal-Mart already split into their teams, with armbands on them that have their team color and begin to wander around the Wal-Mart.-_

**Carlisle: **Emmett do you have any ideas on pranks that we could possibly pull without being caught???

**Emmett:** _-wandering/ leading Carlisle over towards the hunting department-_ Of course I do! Jasper and I do this all the time and just drag Edward along with us just to make sure we don't get banned from Wal-Mart again. _–Carlisle raises one of his perfect blond eyebrows- _Now just let me work my magic. _–motions for Carlisle to stand back before walking up to the gun counter-_

**Man behind the counter:** Hello. How may I help you???

**Emmett:** I was just looking to buy a gun.

**Man:** Well do you have a license?

**Emmett:** _-shows the man one of his various licenses from his wallet this one has his name as Peter Pan Peters-_

**Man:** _-looks over the license for a few moments, his eyebrows raised at the name on it-_ Now what type of gun are you looking for? Long distance or short distance?

**Emmett: **I would have to say short distance. I'm looking for something along the line of a classic hand gun.

_-they begin discussing about a lot of other gun information and eventually Emmett selects a black handgun-_

**_Man:_** That will be a total of 350 dollars including tax and set of bullets.

((AN: I just randomly made up a price. If I'm completely off, oh well.))

**Emmett:** _-pays for the gun and begins to walk away with it in the case which has been placed into a Wal-Mart bag, but turns around and walks back up to the man-_

**Man: **Do you have a question???

**Emmett: **Yes, Do you know where the anti-depressants are???

**Man:**_ -wide eyed-_ Umm you might want to check the pharmacy for those.

**Emmett:**_ -grinning-_ Thanks. _–walks away back towards where Carlisle is standing-_ TO THE TOY ISLE WITH A SHOPPING CART!!! _–pumps fist into the air-_

**Ink:** Well it looks like Emmett and Carlisle are getting off to a good start and with such a classic!!! Now lets see how Wolverine and Mario are doing.

_-camera switches to them-_

**Wolverine:** Okay bub, you have any ideas???

**Mario:** It's a me, Mario!!!

**Wolverine:** I'll take that as a no.

**Mario:** It's a me, Mario!!!

**Wolverine:**_ -muttering about how apparently he got stuck with the only guy who knows only one phrase-_

**Mario:** _-silent-_

**Wolverine:** Just leave all the work to me then. _–walks towards where the water bottles are- -quickly grabs one of the water bottles-_

**Mario:** It's a me, Mario!!!

**Wolverine:** _-starts walking towards where a group of emo looking teens are standing and opens the water bottle-_ THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!! _–spraying the teens with water from the water bottle-_ THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!! _–chases after the teens as they start running away from him-_

**One of the teens:** What's with people always doing this to us?!!

_-camera switches to Ink-_

**Ink:** x3 That's a personal favorite there. Only thing that would have made it better is if he was dressed like a priest. Now lets see how Jack and Sirius are doing.

_-camera switches to them-_

**Sirius:** We've got to do something good, something big, but we've got to remember that we can't afford to get caught.

**Jack:** Savvy mate. Now how do expect for us to do this???

**Sirius:** _-pulls out wand-_ Well I have several ideas and since I'm 17 we should be able to do this without a hitch.

**Jack:** What are you going to do with that piece of wood???

**Sirius:** This is not a piece of wood. It's wand. Now remind me later to wipe your memory.

**Jack:** Why the hell would you have to wipe my memory?

**Sirius:** Now that is besides the point.

_-camera switch from Sirius and Jack and back to Ink for a moment-_

**Ink: **The point is it's a beach ball x3

_-camera switches back to Sirius and Jack-_

**Sirius:** The point is we have to start pulling pranks. Now do you have any ideas???

**Jack:** No, not really.

**Sirius:** Well I do. To the alarm clocks!!! –points wand into the air and starts walking to where the alarm clocks are-

**Jack:** So what is this brilliant idea of yours?

**Sirius: **Thirty second intervals, my friend, thirty second intervals.

**Jack:** What are alarm clocks?

**Sirius:** They're these things that muggles use to wake them up in the morning. My pal Wormtail has one that he uses to make sure that he isn't late for his first class in the morning. If we set them in thirty second intervals then they all go off on after another and annoy the muggles like crazy, but we have to be sure to give our selves a few minutes to run before they go off. That way we can go hiding in the clothing racks over there and watch as the bedlam ensues.

**Jack:** _-evil grin-_ So how do these…alarm clocks work?

**Sirius:**_ -walks up to one and starts messing with the buttons on top-_ I'm not totally sure. I'll figure it out._ –alarm goes off- _FUCK! RUN FOR IT JACKIE!!! _–runs towards the clothing racks-_

**Jack:** DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME JACKIE AGAIN!! _–runs-_

**Wal-Mart Manager**_**:** -is a really big guy who looks like Emmett except has blonde hair that is cut like Carlisle's hair- -grabs Jack by the back of his jacket and drags him along as he grabs Sirius by the hair-_

**Sirius:**_ -screams like a girl-_

**Wal-Mart Manager:** You two! _–sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger-_ Leave now!

_-camera goes back to Ink-_

**Ink:** Well it looks like Sirius and Jack are the first to be kicked out!!!

_-in the background you can just make out Sirius being dragged by the store Manager to something not in view, Sirius is screaming and kicking, Jack is walking along beside them calmly-_

**Ink:** _-looks over shoulder for a moment-_ Smooth Sirius _–snorts and turns back to the camera- _Now lets go back to where Emmett and Carlisle are after we take a break for a message from our sponser!!!

* * *

_-the screen goes black for a moment before James Potter ((the first)) and Severus Snape appear on screen, both look to be about 17 years old-_

**_James:_** Do you have a friend with messy, dirty, greasy hair? _–gestures towards Severus Snape who scowls at him- _Then fear not my friend!!! For we have the product for you to give your friend!

_-Snape holds out a white bottle that has written on it in purple font, "Marauder's Daisy Fresh Shampoo: Extra Power"-_

_-Snape disappears-_

**James:** With the Marauder's Daisy Fresh Shampoo: Extra Power you clean any hair to make it go from gross to perfection. See our friend here? Just look at what happens to him after we wash his hair with Marauder's Daisy Fresh Shampoo: Extra Power.

_-the camera switches back to where Snape is standing, now next to James, his hair looking as though it belongs to some model-_

**_James:_** So for all your hair care needs, trust Marauder's Daisy Fresh Shampoo: Extra Power to take care of them!!! _–he smiles at the camera-_

* * *

_-the screen goes back to where Ink is standing, talking with the camera guy before it switches to where Emmett is standing next to Carlisle in the Toy Isle-_

**Emmett:** Soo many choices so little time. Any preference Carlisle???

**Carlisle:** _-face palmed-_ Sadly I've way too much time around you Emmett and quiet frankly yes.

**Emmett: **Hey what's wrong with spending time around me?!

**Carlisle:** _-refuses to answer that question- _ANYWAY Emmett! We could throw bouncy balls over the shelves into other isles to annoy people.

**Emmett:** That sounds perfect!!! _–pushes the cart to the end of the isle and begins to fill it with large bouncy balls-_

**Carlisle:** _-just stands there making sure that no one gets suspicious of them-_

_- the camera switches back to Ink-_

**Ink:** While Carlisle and Emmett begin to get ready for an attach let's see how Wolverine and Mario are doing.

_-the camera switches to where the two are standing in the camping isle-_

**Wolverine:** _-finishes setting up a tent-_ There we go. Mario go get some pillows and blankets from the bedding isle, while I snatch us some food.

**Mario:** _-winks and runs off in the direction of the bedding isles-_

**Wolverine:**_ -stares after him for a moment, confused, before running off to the food isles-_

_-the camera switches back to where Carlisle and Emmett are standing with two carts full of bouncy balls-_

**Emmett:** We should hit the cleaning supply isles first because they'll never suspect it.

**Carlisle:** True, but it will be harder to get to with these carts without looking suspicious, I think we should hit somewhere closer, like the electronics department or the sporting goods department.

**Emmett:** Electronics could lead to us being sued Carlisle and I don't think neither us, nor the sponsors would be willing to pay for it.

**Carlisle:** _-palm face-_ Why didn't I think of that? Sporting goods department it is.

_-camera switches back to where Wolverine and Mario are at with their tent which is wide open showing people the various things that they've managed to cram in there-_

**Wolverine:** _-climbs into the tent and lays back on some of the pillows they've taken from the beding department-_

**Mario:** _-sets out sign that says "If you bring a board game, you can join the party tent!!!" in front of the tent, already taped to the top of the tent is a sign that says, "PARTY TENT!!!-_

_-the camera switches once more back to where Emmett and Carlisle are now standing, ready to start throwing the bouncy balls-_

**Emmett:** On the count of three.

**Carlisle:** One….

**Emmett:** Two…

**Carlisle:** THREE!!

_-they both begin lightly throwing the balls over the shelves at vampire speed, on the other side the "Party Tent" is getting hit by a good 80% of the balls, little known to Carlisle and Emmett-_

_-Wolverine and Mario dash out of the tent, Wolverine cursing as he begins to look around for who ever is throwing the balls-_

_-Emmett and Carlisle run out of bouncy balls and begin to run at vampire speed towards the other side of the store, leaving the carts behind-_

_-The Wal- Mart manager appears, angry and grabs Mario by the back of his shirt and Wolverine by the hair-_

_-the camera switches back to Ink-_

**Ink: **And it looks like we have ourselves a winner!!! Emmett and Carlisle have won the first challenge!!! Now it looks like they'll have to face off against one another in a sudden death challenge to decide who gets immunity. Please say in your review which one you think deserves Immunity the most!


	3. Hiatus Notice

So all of my in progress fanfics are now on hiatus. I know I should have posted this sooner but I honestly thought I was going to have enough time to finish writing updates. Yet unfortunately I am unable to do so right now and this will likely be the case until at least June of 2013. You have to understand that I'm in college now and am taking a full 16+ hours and have to focus on my grades. I'm aiming to get into the teaching program at my school so my grades have to get my undivided attention. I'm so sorry about having not posted this sooner but I honestly haven't had the time until now.

Sorry again,

Ink


End file.
